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You know it’s a Big Fat Indian wedding when…

This winter I was lucky enough to attend two big fat Indian weddings. After 9 days of back-to-back wedding events, I had worn enough eyeliner to deserve a MAC endorsement deal and had experienced plenty of Indian stereotypes.

So as a sequel to You know it’s a brown event when…, I bring to you:

You know it’s a Big Fat Indian wedding when…

  • The groom arrives to his reception after some of the guests have already left and everyone is always running late.
  • You leave the wedding with more cash and a heavier suitcase than when you arrived.
  • You dance to Chammak Chalo (or that year’s IT Bollywood number) at least 20 times during the week of festivities, yet you get excited each time it plays.
  • More Johnny Walker’s Black Label is consumed than mineral water.
  • No matter how much of Delhi Belly you may be suffering from, you can’t resist that second helping of kulfi falooda.
  • Either you get fixed up or you help someone else get fixed up because one wedding should lead to many more.

I’m sure there are many more so feel free to share but this was my officially way of wishing a happily married life to Mr. & Mrs. Khosla and Mr. & Mrs. Jagtiani!

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Comments

  1. So I LOVE LOVE LOVE this post 🙂

    I think you pretty much cover it all but I do have a couple of statements to add:

    – Guests are often confused about the ‘actual’ wedding day/date given the fact that these weddings span over a number of days.

    – The ‘actual’ day of the wedding with the religious ceremonies is considered to be the day of detox (thankfully!) by all guests and relatives – it’s the only event where alcohol isn’t offered!

    – An Indian bride can NEVER be overdressed/OTT at her OWN wedding even if she is wearing an outfit that could light up an entire room. In addition, she can also combine a bling-y hairpiece with feathers, orchids and a tiara all at the same time!

    – The bride and the groom literally see hundreds of new faces and are expected to remember all of their names instantly in the fear of being randomly picked out by one of the aunties/uncles who start quizzing them about who they are and their relationship status with the bride/groom’s mummy or daddy!